chapter ii

chapter ii


Soo wow. It has been quite some time since I have actually posted. I guess I got a bit lazy during the holidays even though I had envisioned a more dedicated approach to my blog...I wanted to write about the importance of love, and family, and fun festive cooking ideas,
and music, and God...maybe a "Mal's Favorite Things" just to test out my marketing power. But I didn't sadly. I felt the joys of those things but never got around to writing about them unfortunately. Then...I got hit with an even bigger distraction, one that made my heart swell and my brain rapidly set off in all sorts of directions about clothing, and flowers, and plates, and travel, and aprons, and some very presidential hair...I got engaged. I should put an exclamation point absolutely, but I don't want it to be read in your head that way. More just imagine it's being said with a smile, not a scream or running man dance.

So that deterred me from the New Years post I had imagined I'd do because suddenly it seemed I really needed to devise some legit resolutions and goals...write them down and perhaps show them to the person I hope to accomplish these things with. And now after time has gone by, and we have settled down and grown more accustomed to just being back with each other in the way we usually are, I'm getting excited for the small things ahead. Because sometimes really it's the small things that require a partner.

Take for instance the Jersey Shore. Having to watch a show like that alone is like being trapped in a glass case of emotion. I actually did get stuck alone in a physical glass case of heat (a sauna) watching the season premiere of American Idol. I would never normally even attempt to watch it alone but there wasn't anything else on and it was I did it and I could not tell whether it was the 130 degrees making me sweat or the anxiety over not being able to comfortably laugh outloud or be able to make fun of, or question the average citizen/actress status of each contestant. That first girl??? With that horribly pale bouncy muffin top? A muffin top is one thing, wearing a crop top that exposes it is far beyond any thought process I can relate to. I feel like she thought it would be as funny as the Curb episode when the muffin top saves Larry David's life,
it was not,however, by any means, humorous. And the clapping and that pep talk in the bathroom? I mean puh-lease. She had to have been an actress.

And if you have ever watched an episode of Jersey Shore with others in silence, YOU ARE A PEEP. End of story.
Any noise is acceptable from laughter, to "ew" "nasty", "would you rather...", or your best impression of any of those horrible accents. How can you watch these wops going mad crazy without turning your jaw dropped head to your friend next to you to know that you're going to make it through together. Meatball sandwiches and slogan T's? "The Situation" committin' a "robbery." Juice fueled fight after fight and Snookie's failed attempts to sleep with anyone on the shore who's willing. Clubbin'+dancin'+vomitin'=mad crazy fun. It's like all they do is drink, workout, and ride carnival rides. I'm so confused. And the outfits, and gel, and fist pumping, and acrylic nails... if an astroid hit the I just won't go there. But, I mean, it might as well become a new form of torture to make someone sit alone in a dark box watching this show all day. Maybe this will inspire us to write our own vows... "You will never have to watch horrible reality television alone again..." it is not a bad idea. And it wasn't a bad idea either to provide a group of greasy gel heads with a faux wood paneled beach house+ all the booze and diet juice they want+jobs at T-shirt store-- so I applaud you ethically questionable mtv producers.

1 comment:

Amelita said...

GTL - Gym, Tan, Laundry...that's how I spent my day :)

Sorry there isn't better recorded material on the Sauna that you are practically family, feel free to record away!



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