If South Congress was the Indian Ocean, then Perla's would probably get stolen--because as far as treasure goes it's the best booty in town.
Pirates would be especially enthused at their first round of oysters from the raw bar. They would love the mignonet that accompanies the cocktail sauce and horseradish. And because the oysters are so good they would just slurp those suckers right off the half-shell and leave the crackers for Polly. I'm sure there would be a slight altercation when the waiter (dressed in a preppy Vineyard Vine outfit) presents the hush puppies to the pirates. Pirates would be offended that the waiter was telling them to do anything-- especially to hush! But...after eating the hush puppies the pirates would apologize for their behavior and offer to pay (in Doubloons, bones, and jewels) for the damaged patio caused by the peg leg smashing into it during the confusion with the waiter. Basically, the food at Perla's is good enough to make pirates apologize.
After appetizers, the pirates would order a few more Dark and Stormies because Pirates loooove rum. Plain and simple. Plus, dark and stormy weather is a powerful source of adrenaline for pirates. If pirates notoriously loved gin though, they'd be ordering Pimm's Cups, and lots of them because they are so refreshing and delicious. But, then their reputations would be shot and they'd have to get new jobs- and it's just not a good enough economy for pirates to be drinking refreshing and delicious cocktails although there are soo many to choose from.
After eating all of their favorite things including the lobster roll, soft-shell crab dynamite sammy, gazpacho, scallop pozole, lobster grits, shrimp and cilantro hot-dogs with the house made hot sauce and fries with sea salt they would sit back and look around. They would begin conversing about how perfectly detailed the entire Perla's aesthetic is. They would love the weathered look of the wood, the big bright yellow booth, the fish tank, and funny enough the shadow boxes full of lures near the restroom. The look of Perlas is good enough to get pirates "conversing" over interior design.
After a very satisfying meal they would rise from their seats, remove their hats and bring them thoughtfully to their hearts in thanks to Perla's. And then I guess they would steal it. So, if I were you, I would hurry up and go there before it gets stolen by pirates.