"If you looked up the word 'pretty' in the dictionary..."
This. is. the. prettiest shoe in the world. I am almost positive that it would be impossible to frown if they were on your feet. Unless you were like eating a hot dog and ketchup squirts out the end and you ruin them. But in that case, after you fall to your knees arms outstretched screaming to the heavens "why!!?" you would deserve a big kick in the rear for doing such stupid thing, and I would personally take care of that. But rest assured, you would never eat a hot dog in these shoes. You probably would never eat if you had these shoes on because you would never be hungry. You would be skinny and perfectly happy because of their magic. I mean where do you even wear these? On your way to Heaven for a cocktail party?
But I wonder who it is who can buy this shoe? And I wish it was me. The next time someone asks me "Who would you be if you could be someone for a day?" I will reply very confidently "The person who can purchase the Christian Louboutin Petal Sandal." Even if being that person for a day means I would be checking to see if cows are pregnant all day...(you know.. with the gloves...) only to go get those shoes at the very end of the day right before the mall closes, I would do it. (And no way that's her job anyway so I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear and therefore have the perfect answer to that question.) And I would keep them as a souvenir from the day I spent being someone else. But until this moment I had never considered that you would get a souvenir from being someone else so I would maybe choose to do something else or to go down to the bottom of the ocean to see those bioluminescent fish because as part of the rules of the game- you can't die on that day.
All I'm saying is that they are miracle producing shoes and probably would solve the whole world peace issue. That's it.
Oh yeah, and if you don't agree- congratulations your a PEEP.